Day 1

Well, here goes nothing...

Sitting here, 2:30 in the morning on December 2nd, 2010 watching Celebrity Rehab listening to the residents talk about how much better it is when they can reach out. During the early parts of recovery, it is pretty much a requirement that they be open, honest and completely trusting in those around them.

I've started a ton of blogs in the last decade or so, most recently involving the fact of me being a new parent. They've had many different purposes, many different directions and contained many different subject matters. But the one thing they all had in common was that someone somewhere knew it was *my* blog. Whether it was my husband, my mom, my online friends. Somebody knew that the person writing was me.

Because of that, no matter how honest or open or forthcoming I tried to be or told myself I was, there was still a certain level of information I did not share. A part of me that was completely closed off because of what I thought the ramifications could be.

Well, we're going to try something completely different this time around. Nobody is going to be told about this. I mean lets face it, one of the main reasons that people advertise the fact that they have a blog is the hope that other people will read it and pass the word. And to be quite honest, all the self promotion and blog whoring I have done in the past has not gotten me a plethora of readers, regular or otherwise.

So, I'm going to start anonymous and I'm going to stay anonymous and with any luck by the time this is over with, not only will I have exorcised some personal demons, but I'll have gained some readers on the merit of the writing alone and hopefully something worthwhile will be on the screen.

Short break to say that I really hate being up and awake at 3am when my cable box decides to reset itself. HELLO STATIC OF UNTUNED STATION, SO NICE TO HEAR YOU AGAIN!

Ok, back to it. Without giving any specifically identifying information, let me put a little background down for the purposes of context and so that if there actually *is* anybody reading, you'll maybe understand why I'm crazy.

I'm a female, married with a toddler aged daughter. I live in America, incredibly proud to say that as unfashionable as that may be at this time, and when I look outside from time to time there's snow on the ground. I work part-time in a retail environment even though I could be working a nice cushy desk job staring at a computer screen all day and getting paid to write emails. The price of daycare though makes that logistically undesirable. I am a post-op gastric bypass patient and up until the time I found out I was pregnant, I was a (roughly) pack-a-day smoker and with the exclusion of that habit, getting back to my pre-pregnancy weight has been problematic at best. I still need to lose about 40 pounds.

As for what the title of this blog means, it's a goal. Short and long term in nature, it will hopefully drive me to not only make at least one post every day but also keep it up for one month. If I can manage to keep it up for one month, hopefully that will stretch into a year and this day next year, on post title 'Day 365', I'll be able to look back and see that my life has moved forward, even if in just some small way.

And hopefully I'll be able to look and see that a few people have joined me for the journey.

And can I just add in closing that I do not understand why just because you're a country singer you have to sound like a complete idiot when you sing. 'Making my heart beat again' should not come out sounding like 'Making my hat beat again' There's 26 letters in the English Language alphabet for a reason and you should not be able to arbitrarily start removing them because it makes you sound more country. We can see the Wal-Mart receipt sticking out of your back pocket as you fling cigarette butts at the camera. Trust me, we know you're country.